It’s funny, I hear it all the time: “You are SO lucky you’re a medium, you can talk to your mother whenever you choose.” I always laugh when someone tells me that; its funny to me because this has not been my experience.
My mother died in February of 2017. It was 13 days after I arrived at the hospice facility, 12 hours away from my home. I walked in her room and she was sitting straight up. She didn’t seem surprised to see me at all! I had received a call a few days before that it was time to say goodbye, so I flew out to be with her, and to my surprise I walked into the room to see her, all 85 pounds, sitting straight up in a chair next to her sister.
I was a little confused; I had seen her come to me in visions over the prior month to let me know she was going “home” (crossing over). She had lost so much weight over the previous two years but I seemed to look past it and only notice her strength. She was always a strong woman, but this was not what I expected AT ALL.
I smiled and said, “Hey, Mom!”
She stared blankly for a minute and asked me where my wife and son were. I told her that I had left them in Alabama and she laughed.
“I just saw them help you take the luggage down, are they downstairs?”
I was so confused but my aunt smiled at me and gave me a nod so I just played along. “Yes, they are down there.”
Then she (my mom) said she wanted to get her purse so we could all go out to eat; my cousin and her two sisters just encouraged her to sit back, because we weren’t going anywhere. I knew then she was living in two worlds.
The next 13 days were brutal. She was in and out of reality, and I held her hand as often as I could to let her know I was there and it was okay to go. The 7th day was difficult, it was my birthday and I grasped her hand tightly and begged her to let go. I asked her to go and be with her brother and mother who were waiting for her. Her eyes were closed tightly, she had not had consciousness for a few days, but a single tear fell from her eye and I could hear her, in my mind, clearly tell me she would not be leaving on my birthday.
She eventually passed 6 days after. On the 13th day she finally let go and went “home.” I felt her a few weeks after, and have had several instances where I have felt her so strongly that I had no doubt in my mind she was with me.
We had a … difficult relationship. My mother, she was always a vibrant and colorful woman, and I often felt she’d saved the world for so many people but often forgot me. I never felt like she loved me, that she was always seeking someone else that was better. When she died, I had so many unresolved feelings, but I also knew from our brief encounters that she did in fact love me; I could feel her pouring it to me, but I just couldn’t quite make the connections.
I have called to her several time since she has crossed over and received very little confirmation she was with me. I even thought for a while that I just could never be what she wanted, and that she must be with all my younger cousins and her sisters because I was somehow still unworthy of her love.
Fast forward to 13 months after her death: I was doing a reading for a beautiful woman. Her colors flowed into me like sugar melting into warm butter. Her energy was warm, kind and amazing. As I was doing the reading (mostly psychic stuff), I saw this woman’s mother come forward. She smiled at me and then flashed her personality at me.
She was cold, bitter, jealous and angry. I knew that her soul was at peace and that she was only signaling to me how she was as an Earth Walker. I described what I was seeing to this woman and how she was pouring her heart out to the sitter. Her love was so great it made me want to fall out of my chair, and that was when my mother appeared. I was dumbfounded, and not quite sure what to say or do. I continued to channel the mother for the sitter but my mother’s energy was so BIG, so OUTSTANDING I started to cry. The message for this woman was also the message for me. She was there in all her color and glory to tell me she loved me. They were piggy-backing off of each other with an exact message: “I pushed you and pushed you because I loved you.”
The things that were conveyed during this meeting will never leave me. I understood on a brand new level why my mother treated me the way she did. I saw movies from both the sitter’s mother and my own of their childhood, and the many things they endured in life. For the first time in my life I understood the phrase, “I did the BEST with what I had and what I knew,” more than ever. I could feel the love x2 with the sitter’s mother and my own. I conveyed the message as strongly as I could without breaking down and after the reading was over I could feel the embrace of my own mother, and I understood every part of her stubborn, mean ass better than ever.
I can feel her, and see her now. She sits at “The Bottom of My Heart,” where she used to tell me as a child she could be found if she ever died. She is there and embraces me wholly. She appeared unexpectedly and without me looking. I always wanted her love and acceptance, and for the first time ever, I have received it.
Emotions are what have prevented me from moving through some of my grief, but the woman I was reading helped me as much as I helped her by having a shared connection. It’s funny because she was referred to me by someone else that I admire and have connected to their mother on deep soul level. I felt like it was all part of a master plan to circle back around for a healing to take place between several of us.
I am deeply grateful for this experience.
Questions or comments? Email me at ThirdEyeBetty@gmail.com or visit my site ThirdEyeBetty.com