And Then, She Appeared

It’s funny, I hear it all the time: “You are SO lucky you’re a medium, you can talk to your mother whenever you choose.” I always laugh when someone tells me that; its funny to me because this has not been my experience.

My mother died in February of 2017. It was 13 days after I arrived at the hospice facility, 12 hours away from my home. I walked in her room and she was sitting straight up. She didn’t seem surprised to see me at all! I had received a call a few days before that it was time to say goodbye, so I flew out to be with her, and to my surprise I walked into the room to see her, all 85 pounds, sitting straight up in a chair next to her sister.

I was a little confused; I had seen her come to me in visions over the prior month to let me know she was going “home” (crossing over). She had lost so much weight over the previous two years but I seemed to look past it and only notice her strength. She was always a strong woman, but this was not what I expected AT ALL.

I smiled and said, “Hey, Mom!”

She stared blankly for a minute and asked me where my wife and son were. I told her that I had left them in Alabama and she laughed.

“I just saw them help you take the luggage down, are they downstairs?”

I was so confused but my aunt smiled at me and gave me a nod so I just played along. “Yes, they are down there.”

Then she (my mom) said she wanted to get her purse so we could all go out to eat; my cousin and her two sisters just encouraged her to sit back, because we weren’t going anywhere. I knew then she was living in two worlds.

The next 13 days were brutal. She was in and out of reality, and I held her hand as often as I could to let her know I was there and it was okay to go. The 7th day was difficult, it was my birthday and I grasped her hand tightly and begged her to let go. I asked her to go and be with her brother and mother who were waiting for her. Her eyes were closed tightly, she had not had consciousness for a few days, but a single tear fell from her eye and I could hear her, in my mind, clearly tell me she would not be leaving on my birthday.

She eventually passed 6 days after. On the 13th day she finally let go and went “home.” I felt her a few weeks after, and have had several instances where I have felt her so strongly that I had no doubt in my mind she was with me.

We had a … difficult relationship. My mother, she was always a vibrant and colorful woman, and I often felt she’d saved the world for so many people but often forgot me. I never felt like she loved me, that she was always seeking someone else that was better. When she died, I had so many unresolved feelings, but I also knew from our brief encounters that she did in fact love me; I could feel her pouring it to me, but I just couldn’t quite make the connections.

I have called to her several time since she has crossed over and received very little confirmation she was with me. I even thought for a while that I just could never be what she wanted, and that she must be with all my younger cousins and her sisters because I was somehow still unworthy of her love.

Fast forward to 13 months after her death: I was doing a reading for a beautiful woman. Her colors flowed into me like sugar melting into warm butter. Her energy was warm, kind and amazing. As I was doing the reading (mostly psychic stuff), I saw this woman’s mother come forward. She smiled at me and then flashed her personality at me.

She was cold, bitter, jealous and angry. I knew that her soul was at peace and that she was only signaling to me how she was as an Earth Walker. I described what I was seeing to this woman and how she was pouring her heart out to the sitter. Her love was so great it made me want to fall out of my chair, and that was when my mother appeared. I was dumbfounded, and not quite sure what to say or do. I continued to channel the mother for the sitter but my mother’s energy was so BIG, so OUTSTANDING I started to cry. The message for this woman was also the message for me. She was there in all her color and glory to tell me she loved me. They were piggy-backing off of each other with an exact message: “I pushed you and pushed you because I loved you.”

The things that were conveyed during this meeting will never leave me. I understood on a brand new level why my mother treated me the way she did. I saw movies from both the sitter’s mother and my own of their childhood, and the many things they endured in life. For the first time in my life I understood the phrase, “I did the BEST with what I had and what I knew,” more than ever. I could feel the love x2 with the sitter’s mother and my own. I conveyed the message as strongly as I could without breaking down and after the reading was over I could feel the embrace of my own mother, and I understood every part of her stubborn, mean ass better than ever.

I can feel her, and see her now. She sits at “The Bottom of My Heart,” where she used to tell me as a child she could be found if she ever died. She is there and embraces me wholly. She appeared unexpectedly and without me looking. I always wanted her love and acceptance, and for the first time ever, I have received it.

Emotions are what have prevented me from moving through some of my grief, but the woman I was reading helped me as much as I helped her by having a shared connection. It’s funny because she was referred to me by someone else that I admire and have connected to their mother on deep soul level. I felt like it was all part of a master plan to circle back around for a healing to take place between several of us.

I am deeply grateful for this experience.

Questions or comments? Email me at ThirdEyeBetty@gmail.com or visit my site ThirdEyeBetty.com

Editor: Jody Freeman from Off The Shelf Editing

 

 

 

 

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Meem

It was the night before the reading; this is how it happens sometimes, the Soul of the departed loved one will reach out to let me know they are ready to talk. I could see her, she had long gold pants and a matching short-sleeved shirt. She stood in front of me sparkling and gleaming. She was singing and I could hear her snapping her fingers to the beat of her own music.

Her smile was beaming and I could feel the personality shining through this amazing soul. I could hear her giving me her first name over and over. I finally told her I would need a middle name because I was already given the first name long before we had this encounter. My goal is always to validate the sitter, and while I may not always get names, I can usually get something to help verify to the sitter that the Spirit I am communicating with is in fact their deceased loved one.

She winked at me and I heard, “Lucille.” Then she showed me her hands, well manicured and full of jewelry. She was such a cool lady, and I was happy she was in my home. She was incredibly excited and ready to come through.

As the night went on and I was fast asleep in my bed, I woke up to someone gently rubbing my earlobe, and when I opened my eyes she was there sitting on my bed, tenderly smiling. She disappeared from my vision and I fell back asleep only to wake a few hours later to see her sitting on a gorgeous hand-carved wooden chair with a beautiful red cushion. She looked just like a queen on her throne; she smiled again and I fell back asleep.

The reading was scheduled for 9 AM the next morning. I prepared myself, as I always do before any reading, and I could feel her presence strongly. I understood a great healing would occur and I was fortunate enough to be the one to convey the information. What greater honor is there than to provide someone with the validation that their loved one is with them and sees, hears, and experiences their life with them?

Right on schedule I called the sitter. It was her grandmother that she was hoping would come forward. Little did she know that her grandmother had already been waiting for the reading to begin. Before I could even get out my little speech I like to give before the reading, the soul appeared in front of me clear as day. She immediately started giving me tons of information to validate her presence.

As I was conveying the information being shared, I referred to the Soul as “your grandma” to the sitter. Very loudly the soul clapped, “No! Don’t call me Grandma!” She laughed and laughed as I continued to fumble with the word Grandma throughout the reading, and every time she would shout in a thick accent, “C’mon, Shelby!! I don’t like the word GRANDMA! Do I look like a grandma to you?”  I kept hearing to call her, “ME,” or so I thought, and no sooner did I hear that, did the young woman speak up and say, “I called her Meem.”

As Meem poured her love out to the young woman, my body would wash over with goosebumps. Sometimes the love expressed during a reading causes intense emotions to surface, and this was no different. Being a part of such an incredibly strong connection makes it impossible to deny that life continues after we pass over.

I knew that her Meem was now her Guardian Angel, always trying to get the young woman’s attention, guiding her gently and whispering in her ear. I also knew that even though Meem never got a chance to spend physical time with the young woman’s daughter, she was there for the birth and every day after. She beamed proudly over the young woman, embracing her and kissing her cheeks.

I always say that Spirit is as subtle as the wind, but Meem showed that sometimes Spirit is a subtle as a brick through a window; we just have to understand the signs as they come in.

I do not usually write in about readings I do, but the connection I had to that Soul was so deep and full of love I wanted to share it. Meem, a strong teacher, helped me learn a lot that day about communication and trust. Her presence will never be forgotten, and even as I type this now I can feel her encouragement and love.

I am so grateful and honored to be a part of this life.

Questions or comments?  Email me, or visit my website

Editor: Jody E. Freeman from Off The Shelf Editing

 

 

 

 

Earth Vibration

Hello, my friends, I have been picking up a shift in world frequency for a little over two weeks. The last forty forty-eight hours were especially loud, and now the shift has settled into the new sound.

As many of you are already aware, the Earth hums. This is her “vibration” or frequency if you prefer that word. She is exactly like us, in that she is able to have shift of vibration. Like her, we have our own vibration. I have mentioned this in previous blogs, but would like to touch base on this again here.

Our overall vibration is made up of many many things around us and in us. I will use myself as an example. My overall vibration is made up of the many smaller vibrations emanating from within my physical body, which are caused from the vibrational state from my “other bodies” (ie. emotional, mental etc).

To keep things in more simple, 3D terms I will be talking here just about the physical body. Every one of our atoms carry a specific frequency, and if looked at clairvoyantly one can see that every part of you, the cells, organs, etc can be “talked to” as each carry a consciousness that IS you. This is how are bodies are formed, grow, and react to things like illness and stress, etc. As we raise our overall vibration it is actually the smaller frequencies that are changing, making up the overall “hum” of your vibration. This is done through shadow work, healing, LOVE, and experiences.

As we shift, the things around us shift. The people in your life may change, environments are different, you are always attracting what you are emitting. We as individuals (think of us like a cell) change and then collectively as one will raise their own personal vibration, they will find that they are triggering others to shift as well. That is how waves of a massive shift are shown to me clairvoyantly. It will appear like a giant wave that is a collective energy sweeping through and over things. This effects the Earth as well. I often think of us as a race and how we effect her energetically. While she has her very own hum, we are also influencing her, just as she influences is.

Now, with all of that said, I mentioned above a world frequency that I noticed a change in. Many people talk about “veils” and how it becomes thinner, or that there is a mass awakening. I have written before about energy lines, and viewing them in a linear fashion. When I do energy readings on someone I am able to view events on this line from the past to present or future.

I see the Earth line pretty clearly at this time, and I can tell you from my vision that this “mass awakening” is part of our evolution and has been happening since the beginning of earth’s time. It appears like a giant awakening now because we are here NOW, experience it NOW, and the momentum of it is the triggering of our continued evolution where we will all experience greater and greater levels of consciousness.

For an example, where compassion was given to someone by another human being ten thousand years ago, it would cause a small ripple or wave in the energetic line. Think of it like a title wave; as it goes down the line it becomes bigger and bigger and bigger. This is why people have been talking about energy speeding up or how more people are “waking up”now than ever before.

While I do not believe your actual heritage has a whole lot to do with your bigger picture as a soul, I do believe the families we are born into are specific for our evolution as well. We have imprinted traumas and experiences from our ancestors on our DNA, and as a soul comes into body they can use this information imprinted on the DNA to draw in certain experiences to deal with.

The free will of the matter is how we are choosing to deal with these experiences as they come in. We have all live thousands of lives, and that is just on this planet. The experiences we have chosen to deal with are the key here. This is how we raise our vibration on a multi-dimensional level. I am bringing all of this up because we are also a part of the earth, and her experiences. We have been here over and over and chosen to work with her, as she has with us. When I view her, she is an entity grounded in Source and loves us unconditionally. She is us, and we are her, not just as a mirror, but as mother and child, friend and lover.

Earth is in no trouble; she will be just fine long after we go. As I communicate with her, I realize how we as a species allow the ego and narcissism imprinted onto ourselves to play out. How egotistical for us to think we are killing her! Long after any species kills off resources that she lovingly provides to us and destroy ourselves (which has happened over and over and over), new species will evolve and she will still be here, just as she always has and always will be.

If our atmosphere becomes toxic and we all die due to our inability to love her, to love ourselves, then I promise life (just not us) will continue to prevail, just differently than it does now. What she is doing, and the state of her being, is a reflection of how much we love ourselves. Is it love and compassion we are living or something else? The best way to help her is to respect and love her and to HEAL YOURSELF. Raise YOUR vibration.

Her vibration shifts as she evolves, and we are experience not just her, but all of us collectively. This change that happened recently with her “hum” is beautiful and pulses out Love so strong it makes me cry tears of joy. This shift has caused a lot of debris that I view as sticky to get loosened up. It was in perfect timing of the whole Mercury in retro; it is our opportunity to face what is in our past holding us back.

Many common questions people ask themselves are, “WHY do I have money problems?” Where does that come from? Who told you you had to be poor? “WHY can I not find love?” WHY is that your truth? WHY do “bad” things keep happening to you, why do you feel like a victim? There are no victims and she is trying to help us all come to terms with the parts of our past, the lessons we have chosen (DNA imprints) to live and transmute. She is your ally and she wants to help us all become aware of our truest self. The pure beings of light that we are.

We are a seed of God, and when we are born we are given opportunities to bloom to our highest light. There are thoughtforms that we have created and perpetuated for thousands of years. They’re HUGE, but we can rise above them and know the truth. She has attracted us here to aid our evolution, just as we have come here to aid her in hers.

Questions or comments? email me at Thirdeyebetty@gmail.com or visit my website HERE.

Editor: Jody E. Freeman from Off The Shelf Editing Services or find her on FB HERE.

 

 

Children Can Meditate, Too

My son, who is 8, is also a sensitive like me. He is very aware of energy and the presence of spirit. Since he started talking he has mentioned things he sees or hears. Before my own awakening I always put it off as a child’s imagination. His intense fear of the dark or imaginary people he would talk to was chalked up as just being a kid. It wasn’t until after I, too, became re-aware of things that I took notice in what he was actually seeing and hearing. I say re-aware because I believe I have always been a sensitive, but I suppressed these abilities deeply until they could no longer be held down. I decided shortly after coming into my own awareness that I wanted to give my son opportunities to express that I never had.

I can count on one hand the times my son has slept past 6 am. No matter how late I’ve let him stay awake, the kid has just never slept for long. When he was 2 or 3, I would wake in the middle of the night to him drawing pictures in a book, or on the wall. We monitored his sugar intake and media time. I even took him to the pediatrician, worried something was wrong. Before she died, my mother told me I was the same way as a young child. I just did not want to sleep. I’m not sure if it has anything to do with him being a sensitive, but I have a hunch it does. In the dark, alone, everything comes to life.

I was privileged to be connected  with my dear mentor early in my awakening. One of the very first things she taught me was grounding and centering my energy. As I began to do these things the panic and fear I felt so intense began to subside  So, I decided this is also where I would start with my child. He was always running everywhere, it’s like he went from crawling to running. Zooming from one room to the next, fearing something was in the room with him or behind him. He absolutely could not be alone for more than a few seconds without freaking out. When we began our work together he was resistant to doing things how I showed him. He did not want to sit quietly, so I changed things up a bit. I need to add here that this has been a process and did not happen over night. As a matter of fact we recently had a bit of a setback and had to go back to basics; he only needed to be reminded of his strengths.

The start for us, as I mentioned above, was not the easiest. His will is very strong, he is independent in his thinking and does not like being told what to do. I respect him as an individual and free thinker. To me there are clear lines with boundaries, discipline, and integrating those things with freedom in a child’s life. Merging these important aspects together is when magic happens! Before I had even had an awakening I would catch him from time to time sitting in the lotus pose with his eyes closed. I thought it was cute, and probably just something he had seen on TV. However, as the years passed, he did those things less and less. Naturally, this is where I tried to start him with meditation, since he was obviously familiar with this, but he did NOT like doing it this way, because it was me “telling him” what to do with his energy and mind.

To make things easier, for both of us, we instead started with just familiarizing him with what energy feels like. We made a game out of it. I would have him do the old “ball of energy” in between your hands and expand it. I had him lay down, close his eyes, and then I would place my hand over his head or chest and see if he could “feel” the energy. He would laugh and laugh and wiggle around when he felt it. We did this for a while and then he would practice on me or himself, but mostly on the cat. He became confident and excited to practice. After a few weeks he felt comfortable with what energy was. He had learned how to center this energy at his heart and we would exercise it together, pushing the energy down to the Earth’s heart and pulling it back into his, then pushing it to Source and pulling all the way back to him and down to the earth. Around this time he began calling Source by another name (Lafeesh) which was fine with me, it is part of the flexibility that I think is vital for a child’s growth. He would describe to me everything he would see or feel, and he was elated to have fun with it. He got to a place where he was able to do those things on his own, and at night when the energies around him became too intense, he would work with his energy and “Lafeesh” to comfort him.

I can often tell when I am not in balance by his behavior. He will suddenly become afraid of being in his room alone, or he won’t go down the dark hallway to the bathroom. He races and zooms from one place or another in a panic. I mention this because children do not carry the amount of debris in their energy fields that adults do, so they will pick up the energy in others very easily.  He reminds me through his actions to not only check myself, but in return remind him of his own power, that HE is in control of his own energy field. He has been one of my greatest teachers in this way.

He still wakes up early, and his bedtime is rarely changed; we try to keep things as consistent as possible. The difference is that now he does not wake up in the middle of the night, he does not fight like hell about going to sleep, and he sleeps well without every light in the house on. After he wakes and has his breakfast he spends time in silent meditation, 1 minute for every year he is alive. He has been known a few times to stay a bit longer. At night, we play the meditation music for him and he does his own little thing before bed, sleeping peacefully through the night. Recently, he told me about spirits that visit him. He calls them “helpers”. He says they move so fast that sometimes they make him nervous and he wants to hide. A simple reminder that he is in control of his space put an end to this fear. Watching him come into this power is one of the most satisfying times of my life. As he realizes his true self, the fear melts away.

 

Questions or comments? email me at Thirdeyebetty@gmail.com or visit my website HERE.

Editor: Jody E. Freeman from Off The Shelf Editing Services or find her on FB HERE.

Meditation 11.1.17

I have written about my process of being grounded and centered in another blog post so I am not going into the details of that here. Instead, I want to jump into what happened today after I finished with all of that and I sat in the center of my heart. I said, “Today I want to feel the highest vibration of myself, my true being.” I set this intention because I think on the physical plane we are often so accustomed to our current vibration that we cannot always feel it, or may not know or realize where we are sitting as far as frequency and our personal growth. Especially those that do daily work to increase the amount of light we hold, we expand always, but it is often a slow process so we are not feeling the frequency from the beginning to current state of the vibration. I think of it a lot like gaining weight. Often people don’t realize that are gaining weight until one day they say, “Why don’t my pants fit anymore!?” Upon weighing themselves they realize they’ve put on 10 pounds! Of course it didn’t happen overnight, it happened slowly until the pants just wouldn’t fit anymore. With this thought in my mind, I wanted to feel my personal vibration, and my growth. I wasn’t planning to write any of this, but I had become so emotional after the meditation, I decided that it might be important for me to keep track of this.

So, as I sat in the heart and set my intention, I brought my energy down to the center of the earth. Lately I expand myself here so wide that I go out past the edges of the earth, and from there I have been coming back up into Source. As I started this process in expanding my energy, things got really hot, as usual. This heat isn’t like the heat from the sun; it is a heat I could not describe if I tried. I went all the way out to the edge of the earth and began to bring this energy up, and as I was doing this, the sounds started to change and I heard a “woosh woosh woosh” as I was passing through the different aspects of myself, the higher chakras, going up, up, up. I anchored this in to Source and started to inhale the sweet Godlight that was surrounding me, anchoring into my heart which now held, and is, the Earth. We were all one for a brief moment. I pushed all of it out and back down into the center of the earth. This process has been happening to me for about a week or so, I think. When I came back into my heart I expanded again and now the Earth was in front me because I was huge. I pushed my energy back to her and through her and my energy surrounded and hugged her. I even kissed her! I pulled her back into my heart and I could feel the love being exchanged between us.

Physically, I chose to lay down this morning for this meditation. Suddenly, I became very aware again of my physical body and that my legs, all the way to my feet, were tingly. I have felt this before and knew it was because I was anchored into earth; it feels like she holds my legs sometimes when I go up. I chose to pull this energy up since I was very aware of it. I could feel it moving through my chakras and physical body all the way to my head. It is a slow and very “thick” energy. It is like a warm heavy blanket and feels amazing. As soon as it left my head I was propelled up so fast I started to lose my breath. When I leave the body it is often very jarring because of how fast it happens. As I was going up I was slightly aware of my physical body and how it was totally numb and tingly feeling, but I was more aware how quickly I was moving through the giant balls of light. Each one was brighter and brighter and each one had a pitch that got higher. I got to what felt like the top and it was SO loud! I started feeling this energy which was incredibly powerful just blast through me, it looked and felt like it was pressure washing chunks of darkness that had been stained on me, and when those pieces would fall off brilliant light popped through. The vibration was so incredibly powerful! I noticed everything was “shaking”. I have noticed this throughout my awakening at different times during meditation, and I have come to believe it is me merging with higher aspects of myself. This time was a shaking like I have never experienced. I didn’t fight it, there was no fear. I knew it was my soul contact and integration. Everything started spinning so fast, and there was so much light. I thought I needed to try to reground at this point because it was going so fast that I was starting to get nauseated. I thought about asking it to slow down, but at the same time the spinning was becoming a little uncomfortable, I was also experiencing a joy that I have never felt before. I started to sense a true embrace of the soul. I wanted it to last forever, when it started to slow I said I didn’t want it to stop, I didn’t want it to leave, I didn’t want to come back down. I heard a clear message that this vibration was not new, this was me, this was always happening, the embrace and the joy were always present, and that I was to come back down into the physical body and express light.

When I came back down into my body I laid very still for a while, trying to feel it all over again. I had a new awareness of who I really am, and where I am going. I don’t know the answer as to why we ever really come here. Some say it is for Soul growth, so we can constantly evolve in light by being a de-evolved being working our way back to Source. Other people have other reasons and honestly I don’t know at this moment that I really care what the answer is. I just know I am here, and I am there, and I am everywhere. So, for now, I will just play my part on earth. I feel like I lost something, a part of me, today. Maybe a darkness or a fear. I also feel like I gained something, a light, an inner peace. I looked my true self in the eyes and felt an unconditional love, joy, and hope. I cried for a good hour afterward. It was not from sadness, but from the incredible experience. I have had many encounters with the Soul, but as we are integrating more and more light, the vastness and beauty of all that is presents itself in bigger and bigger experiences.

Questions or comments? email me at Thirdeyebetty@gmail.com or visit my website HERE.

Editor: Jody E. Freeman from Off The Shelf Editing Services or find her on FB HERE.

 

The End Is Your Beginning

Plant Communication

Most of us have heard of exchanging energy with people, and some may even do it with various animals or pets, but what about plants? Some of the first energy exchanges I had upon my awakening were with plants, particularly trees. Most of them love to communicate. I have added a picture below to show an example of plant communication.

Does this mean plants have a conscience? YES. What does this mean for us as a species? As vegetarians or meat eaters? Well, like other animals, we have an energetic agreement with different species based on our development. Have you have noticed the amount of vegetarians and vegans that are present? It will only grow. What happens once we evolve past eating plants? In my opinion, it will be light. In other words, human beings will evolve to the point where we are processing light to “feed” off of. This may sound absolutely nuts but it is my opinion. Plants use photosynthesis to eat light. Animals eat plants, and humans have eaten animals for a long time. Does this mean that some animal species and plants are more evolved than us? HAHA!! Now you’re following me!

Lots of people think that plants and animals are not as evolved as we are because they do not have the same kind of conscience as human beings, but I do believe we are looking at this all wrong. Plants use a method called photosynthesis to eat light, animals eat those plants because they are denser beings, and we eat those animals. Plants, in my opinion are the higher evolved beings.

As the human body evolves we will have less need for eating animals and eventually plants. We will evolve to a place where we learn to eat light. I know this sounds really “out there” for a lot of people, but it is my opinion. Do plants have feelings? Yes, just as much as a cow or a human. I am not saying this to make anyone feel terrible for eating a salad or a burger, we are all in different places of holding light. These are just my thoughts on food. In the future I see all of mankind learning to process light to eat. There is no wrong place to be in the great evolution of our species. We are all growing at our own pace and in our own time.

So what about plant communication? Like I mentioned above, my first communication after “waking up” was with plants. I have learned how to push my energy into a plant for communication. I have used a tree as an example, since they seem to be the easiest and most open for communication.  Typically, I will push my heart out to the tree. Once anchored, we push the energy all the way down to the heart of the earth to re-anchor. Once in place there, we pull it back up through me and anchor back at my heart, then push up to source for another anchor. As soon as it attaches here we pull back down to the tree and continue a circular pattern for as long as we wish.

I have spent hours with the plants and trees in my own backyard. It is a great source for grounding and meditation! I urge every person to to try it, especially if you already have plants you are attached to. It is simply another method of communication to earth.

 

Questions or comments? email me at Thirdeyebetty@gmail.com or visit my website HERE.

Editor: Jody E. Freeman from Off The Shelf Editing Services or find her on FB HERE.

 

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EGO

We are all familiar with the ego. The ego has helped give us enough self-awareness to keep the physical body alive throughout human evolution. The ego itself is not bad, even in its inflated/deflated state. I do not consider any aspect of myself bad, so I try not to call it names just as I try not to call people acting in their over-inflated states names. The more I come to understand the ego and its participation in my development, the more I have come to appreciate what it has been trying to do all along, which is develop me, my drive, my creativity, my “SELF,” and my physical survival.

Yes, I have heard self is just an illusion, but if we truly believe we are multidimensional beings (and I do) then every aspect of myself is real, and for a purpose. My goal is to bring every aspect of myself into harmony with the highest parts of myself.  I once believed that self-pity, doubt, fear, and anger were all illusions, that they weren’t real! But I do believe they are just as real as joy, love, harmony, and kindness. It is how I choose to interact with those aspects of me and how I plan to bring them into the light. If I am sitting in ego, letting fear run me on a subject, for example, I am feeding that part, allowing the creation and breeding of thoughtforms. They get bigger and bigger, they can become their own entity, but they are still me, still an aspect of me. What happens when I identify them and begin to throw love at them? Simply put, their vibration has an increase in light, which means it has less control over me in the dark. So, as long as I am bringing that light through me, and giving that light to others, those thoughtforms and “negative” (I don’t like that word) aspects of myself have less and less control. If only looking at that aspect then yes, fear/ego is an illusion, as it has no real control over me. I can re-develop my ego into a more healthy aspect of itself, giving me a more enlightened awareness of all of “me”, all the way up to Source.

I want to give some examples of how ego presents itself. The first is a friend, Sarah. Sarah is a beautiful woman, and I do not just mean physically. She carries a lot of light, and her inner vibe shows an enormous amount work. She is young, in her 20’s, I think. She has very little self-confidence, but always says, “I do not care what others think,” when in fact she is drooling for validation from every person around her. She walks around with a less than lovely attitude, she is smug, and pretends she is trash. She refers to herself as “not nice”, “garbage”, and “a rebel”. Her stride is tough, she doesn’t bathe well, her mouth….oh, her mouth; she says the most vile things she can think of so she can be sure to offend everyone around her. She does that because she wants to be sure that she is treating herself that way before anyone else has the chance. My favorite thing about Sarah is that when I used to smile at her, she would scoff and snarl. She was not very friendly, but eventually she learned to trust me enough that when I give her a compliment, she believes that I believe it, and says “thank you”. When she posts things on her FB page about how tough or mean she is it makes me smile, because I can see her true self: a beautiful, talented, creative, and smart, young woman. All the things she believes about herself are what her ego has told her. She has given her independence and self-worth away in exchange for this persona because of her terrible past. It is her way to keep others away so that she cannot be hurt like she was before. In a way, it is her ego that has tried to save her from being hurt. I cannot look at her like she is rotten or terrible, like she wants me to. I cannot because I know it is just her ego trying to protect her. She is soft, kind, and beautiful.

The other person I want to mention is Sally, who is about my age. She identifies herself as tough-as-nails, a warrior, a mother, and a survivor. She has seen some shit, man. If there was ever a woman who has been through hell it is her! She is independent, fair, open-minded, and will kick your ass if you try to invade her space. She is self-motivated and responsive to the needs of those people around her. She has kissed her demons on the lips and told them she was not afraid, she has ripped her own power out of the hands of a would-be thief and created beauty out of total garbage. Sally will still fight her ego, though. When it comes in to try to strip her self-worth away, when it tries to tear her old wounds open and let the fear out, she pushes back. She says, “I am in charge here.” She has a firm grasp around the neck of her ego, but still I can sense the fear there in how she treats the ego in anger, beating it in to submission. Is that wrong? I don’t judge, and it certainly seems to be working well for her.

I will use myself as a final example. I am the grey between those two women. I have lived many hells that people would never be able to understand. Some days I feel the only way to get a grip on myself is to push everyone away and become cruel and vile. Other days, I kick the dick off my ego and scream to it, “I am in charge!” But, one thing that is very different for me is that now when many of the days that the ego comes up, I can spot it quicker, and I can treat it with love instead of feeding it fear, hurt, and anger. I embrace it for what it is trying to do for me. I don’t call myself (it) names, I don’t argue with it, I don’t do anything but acknowledge the lesson it is trying to teach me and then move forward with changes through love.

I don’t think that any of the above examples of ego are wrong. As a matter of fact, I think the way everything is happening is absolutely perfect. I believe that even the darkest parts of myself love me. Why else would it be pushing me to the light? I am hard-headed, I have been known to struggle with lessons in love, and it has taken some dark moments/events to take place in my life for me to run towards that light. I am not bound in darkness and stuck in the shadows. I am the Light, and all of those things I experienced are about me increasing the light that I am holding in my heart, not just in this physical place of existence, but in many places.

I had a vision Monday. I was in place surrounded by what looked like a gigantic kaleidoscope, the colors constantly changing and interlocking. There was not a single space of darkness; it was all just a constant flow of beautiful light. It almost looked like it was breathing, taking turns exchanging parts of itself with other parts. Almost 360 degrees of this, and the sound that accompanied it was magnificent. There was only a small space, a thin oval of white light.  I stared at this “spot” for some time. Occasionally I would hear a “whooshing” sound and see a part of the kaleidoscope rush through it. There was never enough time for darkness to appear, its spot was immediately and simultaneously filled in with color. I looked down at my hands only to find that I had none, and the feeling of floating on an ocean had overtaken me. I was a part of this sea of colors. There was no me, I was only a blossom of color among the beauty. There was no ME. As I came out of the vision I had a feeling of gratitude for not only experiencing the vastness and love of all that is, but also for the self, the EGO.

We are here to experience. I experience this life my way, as each person experiences it their way, and together we make the blanket for all that is.

 

Questions or comments? email me at Thirdeyebetty@gmail.com or visit my website HERE.

Editor: Jody E. Freeman from Off The Shelf Editing Services or find her on FB HERE.

 

 

 

 

EGO
The Ego